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The lady of the relationship is a saver. Let’s call her X.
X is always in charge of her finances. She knows what her checking account balance is at all times. When she makes a big purchase, she doesn’t do it with cash– she buys it on credit, collects reward points, and then immediately pays it off with cash.
There’s not a financial tip she doesn’t know; not an opportunity she hasn’t explored. When it comes to finances, X has got it all figured out.
X is in a relationship with Y. They’re happy; they get on great, they make each other laugh– but they have radically different ideas about how money should be managed. Y is a spender. He practices the philosophy of “you can’t take it with you!”; money is to be spent, to be enjoyed.
He has a little credit card debt, but he’ll still make big purchases from time to time. When it comes to finances, Y tends to struggle.
X and Y have a great relationship — except for the money management.
The above is an example of a relationship dynamic that many people experience. One person is The Saver; the financial whizz who manages their finances with a rigorous accuracy. The other is The Spender; money is to be enjoyed and savings are a waste of time.
Can a couple like this ever survive?
If you’re in a similar relationship, never fear: the answer is yes, but you’re going to have to work through a few issues first.
The Need For Empathy
Understanding is important in relationships. If you and you partner have radically different approaches to financial management, then it’s worth asking them why they approach money the way they do. This is key to preventing arguments.
There are many, justifiable reasons why people choose to manage their finances the way they do. Your partner may be spending money more now as they didn’t have a lot of cash growing up.
They may be saving as they’re a permanent resident and need to prove financial independence. There are thousands of justifiable reasons for how we manage money, both in terms of being a Saver or a Spender.
You have to understand what motivates your partner to behave the way that they do. If you don’t, you will never truly be able to make peace with their attitude to money– meaning you will spend a lifetime arguing with one another.
The Joint Bank Account Question
As a general rule, you should not share a bank account with someone whose financial management is so different to your own. There’s too high a potential for argument and disagreement.
Plus, if you’re the Saver, then there might even be the possibility for money being spent in ways you don’t agree with.
Setting Achievable Goals
When you’re spending your life with someone, you can differ in the way you handle money– but you both have to be working towards the same goal. Set yourself financial milestones you want to reach; buying a house, saving for a new car, financial planning for a family, and so on and so forth.
If your partner is contributing to these goals as they should be, then how they handle the rest of their finances can be ignored. That’s their domain. They are still prioritizing your future together, so that’s the only thing you need to consider.
Hopefully, you will find the above ideas useful if you find yourself in a relationship with someone whose financial strategy greatly differs from your own.
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